anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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