he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize