So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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