Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
