is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
