I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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