Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
