Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
