I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
