i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
