so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if i died would you start the facebook group?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
