Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
