ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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