After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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