Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i now understand why vodka
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
