so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
