sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
