You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
