Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
