dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
