So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
