Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want to have your abortion
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
