I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
