Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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