i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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