I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I could make wine with my vomit
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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