I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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