well you can't waste a boner
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
