he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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