Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
