Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
