This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
