i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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