i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
