so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
