morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize