I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I need moral support for this bender
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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