This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
