So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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