I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
