I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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