I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
