It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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