the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
