she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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