It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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