I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
