i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize