I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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