i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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