im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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