is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
