Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
