I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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