plz talk dirty to me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
