i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
