Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The adults are the big ones right?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
