I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
