You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
