i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize