Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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