I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize