you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
even my farts smell like vagina
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
