You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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