I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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