I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
