Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
