she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
