if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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